do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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