can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
