forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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