Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
