Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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