FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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