Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
