We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I love you.
Bad choice
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
