so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
