This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
