her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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