So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
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She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
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I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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