He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
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