Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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