no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
