by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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