Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
