Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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