You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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