I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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