winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
