I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My penis needs a shock collar
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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