Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
