I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
