Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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