before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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