i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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