is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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