I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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