Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Dignity is for republicans.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
