Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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