And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
