i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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