wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
