Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
