I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
