Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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