it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
