on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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