If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she peed on how many people?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I DEMAND FORESKIN
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
