if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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