Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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