I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
