Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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