You're so nebulous sometimes
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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