Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
someone owes me an orgasm
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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