i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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