we have pet lesbian snakes
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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