I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
