He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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