I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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