Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
