Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize