sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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