Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize