When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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