So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
